I Shall Believe
by myfoolisheart
Summary: Written before the episode "I Shall Believe" aired. What could have happened between Lucas and Haley after the accident.


Haley turned away from Nathan, wondering why he felt that moment was appropriate to point out to her that her entire relationship with him really was a betrayal to Lucas. Or at least that's how it started. She always knew, even if she hadn't really acknowledged it, that Nathan had only approached her because she was Lucas's best friend. It was a way to get at her best friend, and she'd let him do that. 

She knew Nathan didn't mean anything by it now. It was ironic that it had started because Nathan was a jerk, but he had turned around so much lately. But Lucas's words were still ringing in her mind. Had she really betrayed him? 

Choosing to be with Nathan had been tough, because she knew the way Lucas felt about him. And she loved Lucas. She really did. He was her best friend. But she saw something in Nathan and she couldn't walk away. 

And things had been fine. Lucas had been so understanding. Until now. Hearing him tell her how betrayed he felt, just made her feel terrible. She was disappointed in Lucas for going behind Brooke's back and being the kind of guy that would cheat. 

And even though it had nothing to do with that, didn't she choose a guy over her best friend? And not just any guy, but the worst guy. Lucas had never made her feel bad about it, but she felt bad now. 

"Haley?" Nathan said, breaking her thoughts. "Are you going to get that?" 

"Huh?" She hadn't even realised that the phone had been ringing. 

She sat up and answered the phone that was on her bedside. 

"Haley? It's Keith." 

"Oh hey, Keith. What's up? Did you pick up Karen?" 

"No…" Keith drifted off, and Haley realised there was something different in his tone. "There was an accident, Haley." 

"Lucas…" Her voice seemed to get stuck in her throat, and she just knew something had happened to him. 

"Yeah," Keith carried on, but Haley wasn't really listening. "We had a car accident. He's pretty hurt." 

"Haley, what's wrong?" Nathan asked, coming to stand in front of her. She didn't even realise the tears that had built behind her eyes so quickly. 

Noticing her lack of response, Nathan took the phone from her hands. 

"Hello?" 

"Nathan?" Keith said. 

"Uncle Keith?" 

"Yeah. Listen. Can you get Haley to the hospital? There's been an accident. It's Luke." 

"What happened? Is he okay?" 

"I don't know," Keith answered truthfully. 

"We're on our way," Nathan said, before hanging up the phone. 

Haley was still sitting on the bed, tears streaming down her face. She hadn't even heard what was wrong with Lucas, but she knew it was something bad. 

God, she didn't know what she would do if she lost him. If that last fight they had was the last time she would see him… No! She couldn't think that way. 

"Haley, come on," Nathan bent down to her level, realising she wasn't moving. "Hales?" 

"I…We had a fight." 

"I know," Nathan said softly. "But he'll be fine." 

"He won't want to see me." 

"Haley, come on, he's your best friend. Of course he's going to want to see you. We need to get down there and see what's going on." 

"No." 

"Haley…" 

Despite his own feelings for Lucas, he knew that he meant a lot to Haley and knew that she needed to be there. 

"I can't." 

Nathan looked sceptical. "Are you sure?" 

Was she sure? Could she really sit here and wait while Lucas was in the hospital, possibly fighting for his life? 

"Actually…" She stood up suddenly. "I need to go. But…do you mind if I go alone?" she asked. 

She didn't know why, but she didn't want Nathan to be there with her. She knew it was unreasonable, but she and Lucas had never been the same since Nathan came into their lives and as much as she liked Nathan, it just felt wrong for him to be with her. 

"No, I guess…Are you sure you'll be okay?" 

"Yeah. I'll be fine." 

****** 

She wasn't fine. On the drive to the hospital all she could think about was that last fight they had. All the things they'd said. 

_Are you trying to figure out what lie to tell me next? _

What you're doing is wrong. And if you can't see that, I don't like the person you're becoming. 

Nathan says a few nice things to you to get back at me and you fall for it. 

Is that what you tell yourself every time you're kissing him? That you're doing it for me? 

You're the one that's lying. 

If you're looking for betrayal look to yourself. 

You know what Luke? Next time you see me, don't talk to me. 

Why had they said all those things? Why had she been so angry at him? She hated what he was doing to Brooke and Peyton, but she didn't want to lose him. Why had that been the last thing she said to him? 

Why had it been so hard for her to just tell him she missed him? Missed the old Lucas. Missed her Lucas. 

The past couple of months had changed her life and all she wanted was to go back and have her best friend back. The one person who understood her, who knew her, the one person who was always there for her. 

They stopped being there for each other when Peyton and Nathan entered their lives and it should have never happened. She should have never let it get this far. 

It had been awkward for her, her best friend and her boyfriend being half brother who hated each other. So she had distanced herself from Lucas a little. They still talked, but it didn't have any meaning anymore. She wanted him back. 

God, she couldn't lose him. Not now. Not after everything. Not without telling him that she still cared. That she still loved him. 

She parked up at the hospital and ran in, not knowing what to expect when she got there. 

"Where is he? Is he okay?" she asked Keith as soon as she spotted him. 

"He's in surgery." 

"What happened?" 

"I was driving, and there was another car and I didn't see it." 

"He's going to be okay, right? He has to be okay!" 

And she didn't even realize it, but she was sobbing, and breaking down. The most level headed girl in school and she was breaking down. Right there in the middle of the hospital. 

Keith was holding her, rubbing her back softly, but she didn't want to be comforted. She wanted to know that her best friend would be okay. 

"I can't lose him." 

****** 

The hours of waiting after surgery were the hardest Haley had ever experienced. Karen turned up shortly after her, and she was as distraught as Haley. Probably more so. 

Brooke and Peyton turned up a while later, but Haley didn't speak to them. She just sat with Karen, as they both realized they could lose the one person who had been the constant in their lives for so long. 

Nathan stayed away. 

Five hours of waiting later, their prayers seemed to be answered, at least partially. The surgery was successful, but they wouldn't know more until Lucas woke up. If he woke up. 

Brooke, Peyton and Keith were sent home, because they didn't know when Lucas would wake, but Haley stayed with Karen. She couldn't leave him. 

She needed him to wake up. 

She walked into his room after Karen had come and gone and stopped suddenly. He was hooked up to so many wires and he looked so weak. She had never seen Lucas this weak before. Not even the time he had gotten pneumonia and had to stay home from school for two weeks. Those had been some hellish days, but they were nothing compared to this. 

She walked forward and sat next to him, and was hit by a wave of guilt. Why did she tell him not to speak to her? All she wanted him to do now was open his eyes and talk to her. Tell her they were still friends. Tell her that everything was okay. Let her tell him that she was still proud of him. That she still loved him. 

The only reason he had disappointed her so much was because she expected so much from him. He was her best friend and her everything for so long. He was always the one who made the right choices and when he made a wrong one, she couldn't handle it. 

But that didn't mean he wasn't her everything. Didn't mean that she didn't still care. If only he'd open his eyes and listen to her. 

"Luke…" Her voice didn't sound like her own and she cleared her throat. "Lucas…" 

Why was it so hard to talk to him now? Why weren't the words forming in her throat? 

"I…Don't leave me, Luke. I need you. I'll always need you." 

She didn't do heartfelt. She didn't tell him how much she cared. Not often enough anyway. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd told him she was glad that they were friends. But she needed to tell him now. 

"Please, Lucas. Wake up. Tell me I'm annoying you. I'm so sorry, Lucas. God…please don't do this to me." 

The words kept spilling out of her, but every word came out a little stronger, a little more determined. She was not going to let him leave her. Not with that fight being her last memory of him. 

"Lucas!" She stood up, leaning over his frame. "Lucas! Wake up. God, please wake up." 

She sat down again, feeling defeated. 

****** 

Lucas started hearing sounds first, machines next to him, his mother's voice in his ear, some people far away. He felt groggy. He didn't know where he was, but his chest was hurting like hell. 

It took effort to open his eyes, but as they slowly fluttered open, the first thing he saw was his mother's worried face. 

"Mom…" 

"Lucas! God, you had me so worried." 

"Where am I?" His voice was low and hoarse. 

"Do you remember anything?" 

And then it suddenly came back to him. Him and Haley fighting. Shouting at each other. Saying things they didn't really mean. At least not really. Angry words. Confused feelings. He didn't mean to be such an ass. He just missed her. He needed her around more. 

He remembered thinking about it. And being confused. And then being in the car with Keith. Another car coming at him from the side. 

"You were in an accident," Karen told him softly. 

"Haley…" His first thought was about her. Where was she? Did she even want to talk to him after everything he said? She didn't want to see him again. 

"Yeah, she's here. She just went to get some coffee." 

"Is she okay?" 

His Mom smiled at him, despite the tears in her eyes. "She's fine, Luke. Worried about you though." 

The doctor came in to run a few tests and check Lucas over. As far as he could tell Lucas was okay, but obviously needed a lot of rest and recovery time. 

Just as Karen and the doctor left the room Haley came rushing in. 

"Oh God, Luke, you're awake!" 

She ran over to his bed, the tears fresh in her eyes as she hugged him tightly. 

"Oww!" 

"Sorry. You scared the crap out of me! Are you okay?" Her voice was soft and he just wanted to make her feel better. 

"I'm fine," he lied. He hurt like hell, but he didn't need to tell her that. 

"Luke, I'm so sorry," she apologized quickly. 

"No. I'm sorry. You were right." 

"You really scared me, you know? I thought I was going to lose you." 

"Hey, I'm a lot tougher than you think." 

She smiled, despite her tears. "I know." 

"And hey…I'm really sorry about going off at you about Nathan." 

"I never meant to betray you, or our friendship. I just need you to know that. This thing with Nathan was never about you. I didn't mean it to happen. It just did." 

"I know. I just miss you. I can't stand that he has you and I don't. I didn't want to lose you. You're the one real thing in my life." 

Haley felt like crying again. "You'll never lose me, Doofus. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way." 

"It's not your fault. I guess we've both been preoccupied lately." 

"Yeah," Haley agreed. "But not anymore. I need you in my life, Luke. I can't lose you." She took his hand and felt him squeeze it back. 

"Me either." 

"I love you, you know that right?" she told him. If nothing else, she needed him to know that at least. 

Lucas smiled at her softly. "I love you too, Hales." 

**THE END!**


End file.
